Matt Smay

Yesterday I was sitting on the couch  and Maegan came over, grabbed my hand, and tried to pull me towards the floor. This was one of those moments where I faced a split-second decision – get on the floor or distract her away. It may sound like a small thing, but I got down on the floor with her and we played together, chased each other, and looked at books for over an hour.

I was commenting to a friend (Kevin) that my plan for that evening was to spend some quality family time, but I hadn’t considered what ‘quality’ meant until looking back on the evening. I’m struck at how easy it is to be “there” in the moment, but not “fully present,” as my friend pointed out.

I’m now browsing through my typical week and looking for those times that I’m not fully present, and it’s shocking how easy it is for me to live in a subtle haze of distraction. As I was wrestling through all this, I also remembered a passage in Scripture that deals with the idea of focus and intentionality in a way that provides a unique perspective. It involves Joshua, the young apprentice of Moses at the time. It’s in Exodus 33:7-11 

“ Now Moses used to take a tent and pitch it outside the camp some distance away, calling it the “tent of meeting.” Anyone inquiring of the Lord would go to the tent of meeting outside the camp. And whenever Moses went out to the tent, all the people rose and stood at the entrances to their tents, watching Moses until he entered the tent. As Moses went into the tent, the pillar of cloud would come down and stay at the entrance, while the Lord spoke with Moses. Whenever the people saw the pillar of cloud standing at the entrance to the tent, they all stood and worshiped, each at the entrance to his tent.  The Lord would speak to Moses face to face, as a man speaks with his friend. Then Moses would return to the camp, but his young aide Joshua son of Nun did not leave the tent. “

I must admit, this passage sounds a little awkward with everyone standing around worshiping while Moses speaks to God. But there is something profound about the determination of young Joshua, who at the end of the day decides not to leave the tent. I wonder how much of his future success was based on this subtle detail. For me, it provides another reminder that I’ve got a long way to go in weeding out the clutter in the daily grind and being more fully present.

Have you ever had a caffeine withdrawal headache? Well, this week I was sick with a nasty stomach bug that made the thought of food and most drink repugnant for several days – including my daily staple of coffee and americano’s. (In order to understand the context of this post, I should fess up that I currently average about a pot of coffee per day.) So, after two days of being sick, I wasn’t sure which was worse, the body aches or the massive caffeine withdrawal headaches.

It’s now been four days off coffee (caffeine) and I’m realizing how integrated it has become in my daily routine. So, here’s the dilemma – I really love coffee, but I’m stuck with the realization that caffeine may be playing too big a role in my daily life, and worse yet, I’m wondering how I Corinthians 6:12 might apply,

“Everything is permissible for me”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible for me”—but I will not be mastered by anything.”

Hadn’t really thought of this verse in regards to caffeine, and I’m not sure where I’ll land. Perhaps I just need to make a fast of caffeine to break the hold, or cut back to a few cups a day. Either way, I dislike the feeling of being mastered by anything and it’s definitely not beneficial at this level…

By The Way – if you ever need to do some quick Bible research online (like I did tonight) www.bible.org is pretty helpful, especially the Bible and site search in the top right.

Now that I’m a dad, I’ve become aware of the disadvantages of having family (parents and grandparents) living so far away. With my parents living in Southern California and grandparents in Arkansas, and with my wife’s parents in Iowa and her grandparents in Indiana, the distance makes it hard for us to consistently see them. Especially since Maegan was born, Maren and I have both realized the drawbacks of not having family living nearby. We often comment on the things that we miss with them so far away: having them here to see her grow up, having more family in her life that she is familiar with and trusts, and of course, free babysitting.

This common conversation has been nagging me in everyday life…and this past week I’ve realized something about ministry that I think relates significantly. Where are the elders types of the missional movement? Put another way, is it just me or have you noticed the relative absence of the wise, Gandalf types in our missional conversations? Recently, I’ve had the pleasure to spend some time with two very wise men that stand out as elders among the emerging, missional movement – Wes Roberts (http://wesroberts.typepad.com/) and Paul Rhoads (one of our CRM ministry leaders, and also my boss).

So, I thought it would be worth reflecting on what stands out about these men – perhaps as a way to look for more of these men in the future, and as a way to articulate some traits I hope to embody myself someday: (here’s a short list)

• They are humble and full of passion.
• They speak truth and grace, and know the occasion for each.
• They advocate and empower younger leaders (a significant legacy).
• They give those that follow them their most valued resource – Time.
• They live well and enjoy life – modeling and inspiring others.
• They are deep wells of wisdom!

So as I reflect, I again miss the elders in my life…those that can be called upon to watch over our growth, speak into our lives from a place of trust, and are there to fill-in for us when we just need a break! It seems to me that we could use a few more of these men around…